I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
