Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
