where does the pee come out of this thing
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
