Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize