Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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