you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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