theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
50% drunk capacity currently
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
