Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
