I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize