that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
