i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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