Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
