I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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