Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
