We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
