Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
