Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize