I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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