You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
