my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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