I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
