I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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