every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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