so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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