she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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