Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
