He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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