we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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