ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
