I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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