I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
two words...techno handjob
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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