He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
