i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
