Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
