I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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