I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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