Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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