One girl and one boy is just not enough.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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