Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
