I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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