every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
