I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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