At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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