no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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