Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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