did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize