my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
