i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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