there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
