@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
