I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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