yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize