I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
