need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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