Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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