# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
