we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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