You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Randomize
