if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
