I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
